Advice and Guidance for Parents of Junior Athletes

All Coach/Athlete Communication Must Include a Parent

At FSE, we take the emotional and physical safety of our junior athletes very seriously. All of our coaches are certified by SafeSport. One of the primary edicts of SafeSport is that athletes under 18 should not have private conversations or 1:1 contact with unrelated adults. To this end, we will add a parent/guardian to any communications with an athlete. However, this is not possible through TrainingPeaks (TP). TP is the app we use to plan and track an athlete’s training, as well as discuss specific workouts. Parents should monitor this communication, so we encourage you to use your child’s login and password to access their account. TP only allows one email address per account, so this is the only workaround at this time. 

The Fire Has to Come from Your Kid

An athlete’s drive must come from within. To maintain that drive in your kids, let them dabble and explore their interests, including other sports. Statistically, most professional athletes played multiple sports growing up, only specializing until their mid to late teens. When they naturally figure out what’s the most fun or fulfilling, their desire to play that sport will last longer.

The Car Ride Home is the Most Important Part

Stick to your role as a parent, not a coach. Be supportive whether they win or lose. Don’t try to analyze what went wrong on the drive home. Young athletes tend to remember two things after a competition: the peak emotional experience during and the drive home afterwards. You can’t control the experience during a race, but you can make the drive home supportive and positive. Leave the race debrief to the coach.

Teach your Kid how to Lose Well.

Failure is a part of life. Sports can help kids experience failure in a relatively safe way at a young age. They should learn how to process it, learn from it, and ultimately grow from it. This creates adults who are more resilient and confident, and fosters a growth mindset that will help them to continue improving.

Losing well is not just about good sportsmanship. It’s also about how they react to losing and their ability to move on from it. Specifically, it’s about creating space between who they are and what they do. When we get meaning from more than one thing or activity in our life, we're better prepared to handle defeat when it inevitably comes. This allows an athlete to rebound from loss quicker, and then learn what went wrong with a clearer head. 

Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome

We often talk about process goals for races. Little tasks that, when completed, lead to accomplishing bigger goals. Things like preparing your bike the day before, eating a good breakfast, having a good race start, using good technique in the corners, can all add up to a successful race. These small steps are easier to manage emotionally than worrying about the race result or what could go wrong. 

We try to encourage kids to focus on their effort, learning, and improving as an athlete, rather than race results. A growth mindset (believing that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work) is crucial here. 

If They’re Going to be a Great Athlete, They’ll Figure it Out

Private coaches, elite teams, and expensive equipment aren’t going to make or break your child’s chances of making it. If they are good enough, they will get there. Trust that things will work out. 

When parents obsess over giving their kid a one-up, it’s easy to miss the major factors for the marginal gains. This obsession can also cause parents to trust coaches and others offering guaranteed results. Be wary of anyone promising podiums, scholarships, or spots on elite teams by signing up with them. No one knows for sure what an athlete’s long term trajectory will be. But if your kid is good enough and motivated enough, they’ll figure it out. 

The Role of Coaches

A good cycling coach can help you and your child navigate regulations, teams, and competitions. They can offer support and guidance when things get hard. They can teach an athlete how to train, rest, and fuel properly. They can help the athlete with perspective and seeing the big picture when they lose. 

This training and guidance may give them an advantage and accelerate their growth, but eventually all of their competition will reach the same point. However, the thing that will make the biggest difference when they reach the highest levels is, do they still love to ride, and have they always been supported by their parents no matter their results?

Unlike most school sports, cycling can be a lifelong activity. It’s a sport the whole family can do together, virtually anywhere in the world. Don’t sacrifice this great sport for short term race results by burning out an athlete with obsession or overtraining. At FSE, we would rather turn down a client than keep pushing them into training they don't enjoy or adding more training volume than they can handle. 

Your Support Should be Unconditional

It should not be dependent on the results of the race. Win or lose, you should be there. One of the best reasons to pay for private coaching is that it leaves the parent to focus on parenting. 

They Probably Won’t go Pro

Chances are, your child will not be pro cyclist. But sports provide so much more than a slim chance at being a professional athlete. The improvements to physical health, mental and emotional well being, and social skills is hard to overestimate. Kids who participate in sports tend to be more successful adults as well. 

So instead of victories, our goal should be to leave them with a positive experience and life lessons on learning how to fail, compete, handle adversity, and be a great teammate. 

Let your Kids be Kids. 

Support them, but don’t get in their way. They’ve already got enough expectations and pressure from living in a world where they are constantly judged on social media, and have to measure up against the world instead of just their local school. Give them space to explore and the basic support they need, and then let them make their own way.

(Adapted from the writings of Steve Magness).